just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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