ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
