well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
