So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
