well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
