i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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