Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
