you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
