I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
