he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
