If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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