Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
COCAINE IS GR8
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
