wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
