I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
