i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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