She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
