Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
