He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
