i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
