People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
