tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
