How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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