were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
