I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
do herpes really smell.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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