You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
