Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
