No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
