They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
