I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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