Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
