Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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