I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
