He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
