found the other keg... it's in the tree
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
