Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
