At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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