I smell stomach acid.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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