Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
