sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
