I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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