Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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