I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
