Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
