Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
