It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
