My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
