could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have fence marks all over my body
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
