She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
