So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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