i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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